How do I get my cat to sit in my lap or to lay with me?

by Paul
(Dawson City, Yukon)



My cat shows some very strange affection behavior that I have never seen before. The cat is a male, named Oatmeal, and is about 2.5 years old.

For as long as I've had him he has never sat in my lap or laid down with me, or anyone for that matter. I find this strange since every cat I've ever had just loved attention and loved cuddling and being close.

This cat spends most of his day sitting in his chair and ignoring everyone. However, at least once a day or sometimes up to 3 or 4 times a day he will come lay on my chest and knead into my neck and press his forehead against my lips and purr.

He will do this for 5 or 10 minutes and then all of a sudden, without any warning he quickly jumps up and runs away. While I appreciate these times that he actually is seemingly quite loving, I wish he wasn't so hit or miss with his affection.

I am the one and only person he will do this with. He has been given nothing but love from day one and has always lived in a very good household. He is spoiled with the best toys and treats and is played with daily.

He enjoys being petted but seems to be very solitary and independent. He seems to be very intelligent, observant, and curious. He's just not very affectionate, with the exception of these brief moments when he is super affectionate.

I'm wondering how I can get him to be more consistent with his affection and get him to actually sit or lay with me. I'm also wondering what this strange ritual of him briefly laying on my chest and kneading my neck while pressing his face into mine and then quickly running off all means.

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Cat personalities
by: Anonymous

Hi, there is a set of personality profiles of cats that is very interesting. Among other types is one called the "sidekick" cat. These are cats that like to be in the vicinity of their humans but are NOT lap cats. I have one of these. She likes to be near me and will sit or sleep near me and sleep by my side at night, but she doesn’t like to be picked up or be in my lap. But she loves being near, and I have become content with that.

Hot and cold cat
by: Jim W.

Some cats are hot and cold, and they only want affection when it suits them. I would try using treats at the same time each day and see how that works for you.

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